Mothers Experience: Working Mothers and small Babies: emotional decision.

I am working mother, from last 10 yrs J rather I must say I am 10 years old working mother J yah that will be better. Right from the age of my graduation and PG I am working and helping family to do things.. Now after Marriage also I took a decision of working J .. And I think my decision was correct.. but u know what I actually face lot of problem till the time I realized that working mother means I am not doing any wrong thing on my baby’s part..

One of the working mother in Purnabramha actually came up with this topic.. and I thought let have talk on this as well.

Mother who are feeling that if they are leaving there kids (very small kids even) at home and going to work is crime, and they are not fair with their kids then defiantly I must say they are wrong.

U as mother and as partner to run the family I can tell u some of the inner thoughts..

1.     Guilt: AS coz of some personal reason I HAVE to work and cannot stay at home, my baby has too suffer coz of that..

a.     Believe me.. don’t do this , coz running home is really tough job.. And if u are at home also and taking care of baby then also it is fine.. but

b.    Take the decision and be firm on it.. Kids will grow they definitely need u for 24 / 7 but that doesn’t mean u should be available to them 24/7.. no out of 24 hrs avg. every women ( working non-working both) should take out 1 hrs for themselves.. to do what they want .. it is not so difficult..

c.     This 1 hrs they should be only themselves and not mother, not wife, not daughter-in-law and not daughter. I mean don’t give call to u r mother also in this 1 hrs J not needed.. to talk or discuss anything.. Find out what U as you want to do.. And slowly u will find out something from u r inner soul.

2.     My mother spends too much time with me but I cannot and coz my kids are near to my house cleaner and not me.

a.     No, it is not like that : We know about our mom dad after some age.. they adjusted their time and given quality time.. so concentrate on QUALITY TIME & NOT QUANTITY TIME..

3.      Kids at home they come us running when we come from office, I feel very pity about myself, why I am leaving them.

a.     Dear.. Everybody has to do this.. Your mom also might have done the same..

b.    Just take care of that they are eating well and put some wishwa on people you put around them, here I means to say don’t beach about them and don’t argue also but be alert.. so that u can have watch on u r kids habit and all other things.

c.     Give some surprise visits at home during working day..use all mom’t tricks..to utilized the time u have with u.

4.     I feel very alone at office

a.     I know, how it feel when u leave u r kid at home and has to go for office at the time of feeding also ..

b.    We love them a lot.. but don’t love them beyond limit.. yes a mother is saying this..

c.     Do what u love to do.. and believe me u will win the situation..

I think My message is clear : don’t feel any guilt about u r working mother.. Feel proud that u r doing gr8 job.. just feel good about what ur doing.. I must say mother who are not working also doing gr8 job.. Just don’t look at people what they will say to u.. Do what you like and create your own support system.. and then start believing it that whatever is happening is good and perfect..

This emotional balance needs to be maintained then only people around will give importance to u and u r decision. J

5.     Lot of Pressure from other people to stayback at home and take care of kidos..

a.     Again be firm , don’t woryy about all other people .. u r mother of babay and u and u r partner has taken up the decision to take are of that baby then give some time to him or her and plan the your work life balance..

b.    Create your support system and then move ahead.

c.     Do not depend on whether my mom or my mother inlaws will come and help me or not.

d.    But create the strong support system : bonding with u r kid, daycare/ or maids arrangements/ cleaner views for what needs to be given to  the baby.

e.     And be strong don’t discuss much of problem with people who are forcing u to stay back.. coz they getting more points to pull u back.. so keep on telling about how good u are managing things..

f.      If u want to discuss this then either u r partner / or decide on one person to whom u can belive and he/she will understand u r situations or will not disturb u from u r goals..

g.    It is not that complicated as what we think .. just Decide and do it..

h. or call me : 9741399190 : I am u r Sakhi who has already gone through all this.. and came out succesfully . I am not CEO of any Org but just like u a working mother

One request to all MOMs (my mother) please do not encourage to your daughter(Me) for wrong thing.. she will also get adjusted for the situations.. just let leave her for some time , she will also learn to live better them you (May be).. Rather I must say stop poking into ur   daughters life.. and let her know that she has to come out of the situation by her own.. and don’t blame the in-laws place for this..  J I know actually I am poking in u r personal decision but belive me it will definitely helf her in taking call..

Purnbramha grp